Five Reflections That Changed Me at 50

This year I turned 50.

Here’s five reflections on how this milestone changed me.

It felt like crossing a threshold.
Not a finish line, but a new point of view.

A place where I could look back with gratitude and look ahead with clarity.

To honor the moment, I asked myself five questions. They were gentle and honest. The kind of questions that help you tell the truth you didn’t know you were ready to say out loud.

What surprised me most was how much they revealed. Each one showed a part of me that grew stronger this year. A part I am ready to celebrate.

1. What changed in you the most this year?

I feel proud of turning 50. It feels earned. It feels like a real milestone. Like reaching a new lookout where I get to choose how high I want to climb next.

The biggest change this year was how in tune I became with my design and intuition. I felt it most during stress. I didn’t react the way I used to. I stayed steady. Calm. Soft, but not passive. Flexible. Present.

There was one moment when I knew something had shifted.

We had a streak of problems at home. The dishwasher broke. Then the dryer. Then the gas starter. All in the same month. In the past, this would have ruined my mood. But this time, something felt different. I stayed calm. I told myself these things are just tools. They break sometimes. And that’s okay.

It felt almost superhuman. It also felt like freedom. A kind of ease I had been working toward for years without knowing it.

2. What part of your old identity fell away without a fight?

I let go of initiating everything.

I used to step up because someone needed to. I rose to challenges that were never mine to carry. I thought that was leadership. I thought that was strength.

But many of those moments came from habit and expectation. A reflex that cost me energy and peace.

Letting go of that part of me changed everything.

When I stopped initiating from obligation, I dropped the pressure to control outcomes. I stopped holding responsibilities that were never mine. I stopped ignoring my inner hesitation.

Now I choose what is mine. I let go of what isn’t. And I feel more like myself than ever.

3. What challenge stretched you in a good way?

For years, I volunteered with Girl Scouts as co-leader, admin and cookie chair. As an entrepreneur, the cookie role came naturally. I cared about the girls. I cared about the families. I cared about doing things well.

But this year my health needed real attention. Doctor visits. Physical therapy. Acupuncture. More questions than answers. It weighed on me.

At the same time, I was running my business, parenting and holding a volunteer load that was heavier than I wanted to admit.

Something had to give. My health had to come first. My mental wellness had to come first. Stepping down was the only aligned choice.

What I learned was powerful. I have the capacity to do anything. But my true power shows up when I take aligned action, not obligated action.

Kim Scott writes about ruinous empathy. When you stay in a role because you fear letting people down, you harm both them and yourself. That was me. I carried that load quietly. Letting go lifted something I didn’t realize I was holding.

4. Where did you choose alignment over approval?

This year I grew a lot by merging two big lessons.

The first was learning to pay attention when something feels off. Bafflement is energy. It’s information. It’s my body saying, This doesn’t track. This doesn’t match. This isn’t mine.

For years, I overrode that feeling. I opened the email, felt the sigh, felt my nose wrinkle, and still pushed ahead. I accepted the request. I took on the task. I said yes even when my energy felt like a no.

The second lesson was about letting go of my performative side. I grew up as a Gen Xer, raised to work hard, stay efficient and get results. Performance was how you proved your value. But turning 50 changed that for me.

Whenever I tried to perform this year, I felt drained. When I chased efficiency or polished something just to look capable, it exhausted me. That version of success no longer feels true.

So I let it go.

When I blend those two lessons together, something powerful happens. When I trust my energy and lead from my soul, I stop playing the small, finite game. I shift into something bigger.

Something like what Simon Sinek calls the infinite game. A wider field. A deeper purpose. A way of working that feels right for who I am now.

Choosing alignment over approval didn’t just change my year. It changed my whole way of leading myself.

5. What small moment stayed with you?

It was a tiny moment, but it stayed with me.

I was in the acupuncture waiting room. I picked up a card from a small deck on the counter. It had a dragonfly on it. The message said, “I always trust the direction of the universe and know I am being guided.”

Tears came fast.

Dragonflies have been a quiet symbol in my life. So have butterflies, moths and bees. They show up during important turning points. Almost like they are guiding me back to myself.

The symbol hasn’t appeared much since, but the meaning stayed. A reminder to trust. To lighten. To follow the next step even when I can’t see the rest of the path.

It brought me home to myself.

What I’m taking into the next year

These five reflections showed the quiet shifts that shaped my year. They showed how much I’ve grown. How much I’ve released. And how grounded I feel now at 50.

This year was not about big breakthroughs. It was about integration.
Steadiness. And choosing myself with more grace.

And here’s what feels clear as I move forward.

• I’m not playing the small, point-scoring game anymore.

• I’m playing the infinite game.

• I’m building a life and career that grows with me.

• A life I don’t have to perform for.

• A life that lets me be aligned, honest and fully myself.

If a part of this reflection stayed with you, I’d love to hear from you.
You can reach out through my contact page or book a clarity call if you want support for your own next chapter.

Thank you for reading, my friend.