Speak Up with Conviction: Say the Thing You’re Holding Back
Here’s a pattern I often see with high-performing leaders, and it’s come up quite a bit in the last few weeks.
It’s the ability to say what needs to be said.
To say what really matters and show up speaking with conviction. Whether that’s giving clear feedback or speaking up in a meeting.
The breakdown occurs when leaders hold themselves back. They soften or avoid delivering their message in the moment, despite having strong thinking or clear beliefs around it.
Examples of not speaking up
You know what to say, but you don’t know how to say it.
It feels easier to write it out than to say it live in the meeting.
You have a great idea and hesitate to share it.
You spend the meeting in your head, thinking about the idea, how it will be received, and when the right moment might be.
Then the meeting ends, and you haven’t said it at all.
You contribute less when more senior people are in the room.
You feel intimidated or unsure of your place, even though you were invited for a reason.
Why this happens
Meetings are pressure-test moments.
They expose gaps:
in confidence
in how you show up
in what you believe makes someone “successful” as a leader
in the story you tell yourself about whether you belong
Even when you’ve been invited to the table, it can still feel like you haven’t.
Many of these moments are driven by overthinking.
You replay and pre-play the conversation.
You anticipate rejection or getting it wrong.
The focus shifts to what could go wrong instead of what could go right.
There’s often a layer of perfectionism underneath it.
It’s not just about speaking up.
It’s about saying it the “right” way.
And that extra condition is what keeps people silent.
What you can do
There are four keys to speaking with conviction.
1 Believe in what you're saying
Whatever the idea or contribution is, you need to believe in it fully.
Ask yourself:
What do I know to be true here?
Why does this matter?
What would be lost if I didn’t say it?
2 Deliver it as you believe it
Your belief is the foundation of how you communicate.
When you speak with clarity and energy, others feel it.
Ask yourself:
What does this belief mean to me?
What might it mean for others?
What insight am I bringing forward?
3 Show up with authenticity
You’re not trying to be the smartest person in the room.
You’re showing up to represent and honor an idea that matters.
Think of it this way:
You and the message are partners.
You’re there to contribute, improve something, and move the work forward.
Authenticity is a decision you make before the meeting begins.
Ask yourself:
How do I want to show up?
What’s the intention behind what I’m saying?
What is the thing only I can contribute here?
4 Exude confidence
Confidence shows up when you are fully present.
If you’re hesitant or holding back, it will come through in your delivery.
Confidence is not about certainty.
It’s about staying grounded in what you know, even when things are still unfolding.
It’s the intersection of conviction, truth, and presence.
Ask yourself:
What support do I need going into this?
What’s one truth I stand behind?
How will I feel after I say it?
These pieces work together.
If you’ve been holding back in meetings, try this next week:
Say the thing you’ve been holding back.
For leaders and organizations
There’s also a role the environment plays here.
If you’re leading meetings, you can create space for this more intentionally.
Simple prompts like:
“Are there any perspectives we haven’t heard yet?”
“What might we be missing?”
“Anyone seeing this differently?”
can open the door for contributions that might otherwise stay unspoken.
Sometimes it’s not that the thinking isn’t there.
It just needs a clearer invitation to surface.
I also shared a short video on this.
